HURRICANE KATRINA: 9/11, PART DEUX
This is an old blog that I had originally posted on MySpace (originally dated 09.01.05), but decided to repost it here because it was good. Enjoy!
The once-glorious city of New Orleans was decimated last weekend by a WMD (or Weapon of Mass Destruction) called a "hurricane". This device was built by Al Qaeda terrorist refugees hiding in Mexico. These terrorists attacked America from southern neighbor Mexico not only to avoid suspicion that would likely be aimed at the Middle East but also as a political statement. Hateful Iraq has not forgotten America's reign of peace during the Persian Gulf War over ten years ago and hence attacked us from our gulf, the Gulf of Mexico (which will from now on be known as the Gulf of Freedom). Al Qaeda militants posing as American students trained in schools right here in our country to become meteorologists created the “hurricane”. A suicide pilot then flew the hurricane over the Gulf of Freedom directly into New Orleans. After nearly destroying the entire city and the surrounding areas, the hurricane lost its momentum and petered out.
The target was chosen not only for its tremendous Americanliness that is coveted by terrorists the world over, but also for the fact that several American oil refineries were in it path. The terrorists hoped to make gas prices soar and therefore crush our economy.
During the attack, clues were given as to which country the terrorists were from. If one were to look at satellite photos of Hurricane Katrina, one would see that in several images the swirling clouds take the shape of not only the American State of Iraq, but also the countries of Afghanistan, Turkey, France, Kuwait, Yemen, China, and the continent of Antarctica. The terrorists may have been trying to confuse us with the multiple maps implanted in the hurricane's cloud patterns, but one other image gave them away. At one point for more than twenty seconds, Hurricane Katrina took the distinct shape of Saddam Hussein's head. The other countries seen in the attack clouds are being questioned as to their involvement. Officials are still trying to determine which country has the most oil and therefore which one we should retaliate against first. Antarctica could not be reached for questioning.
Experts also believe that the name Katrina is another attempted knock against freedom. Benjamin Franklin, one of the fathers of America, had fathered a little girl that none but the most thorough historians know of. This daughter, Katrina, reportedly was so horrid in appearance that Franklin disowned her. Years later, out of hatred for her country and her freedom, she attempted to assassinate George Washington, the country's first president. The two apparently had a brutal fistfight during which all of Washington's teeth were destroyed. Washington eventually impaled Katrina on the pole that the very first American flag was mounted, killing her. The terrorists found out this fact and with help from meteorological spies implanted in our own weather network, had the disguised WMD named Katrina, after this little-known rebel and forever-hated enemy of America.
The terrorists have almost completely destroyed one of America's most precious cities. They have cause the price of oil to rise dramatically. They even made President Bush end one of his rare and well-earned vacations two whole days early so he could deal with this attack. Will they take our freedom from us? Will they bring the greatest country in the world to its knees? Will the terrorists win? Only you can decide that, America. Is four dollars a gallon too high a price to pay for freedom?
New Orleans, Louisiana has long stood as a symbol of America's pride and freedom. It represents our dedication by being one of the country's oldest cities. Its predominantly African-American population represents our diversity and tolerance of other peoples. The fact that it was (some liberals, hippies, and communists would say foolishly) built on a gigantic swamp represents our perseverance and go-get-'em attitude. And even the state's Army-boot-like shape not only shows off to other countries that, in times of crisis, America means business, but that we can and will take action. But all of these things that New Orleans and America stand for have been threatened yet again by terrorism. The latest terrorist attack on American soil came in a form of a WMD hidden right under our noses. A WMD called Hurricane Katrina.
The once-glorious city of New Orleans was decimated last weekend by a WMD (or Weapon of Mass Destruction) called a "hurricane". This device was built by Al Qaeda terrorist refugees hiding in Mexico. These terrorists attacked America from southern neighbor Mexico not only to avoid suspicion that would likely be aimed at the Middle East but also as a political statement. Hateful Iraq has not forgotten America's reign of peace during the Persian Gulf War over ten years ago and hence attacked us from our gulf, the Gulf of Mexico (which will from now on be known as the Gulf of Freedom). Al Qaeda militants posing as American students trained in schools right here in our country to become meteorologists created the “hurricane”. A suicide pilot then flew the hurricane over the Gulf of Freedom directly into New Orleans. After nearly destroying the entire city and the surrounding areas, the hurricane lost its momentum and petered out.
The target was chosen not only for its tremendous Americanliness that is coveted by terrorists the world over, but also for the fact that several American oil refineries were in it path. The terrorists hoped to make gas prices soar and therefore crush our economy.
During the attack, clues were given as to which country the terrorists were from. If one were to look at satellite photos of Hurricane Katrina, one would see that in several images the swirling clouds take the shape of not only the American State of Iraq, but also the countries of Afghanistan, Turkey, France, Kuwait, Yemen, China, and the continent of Antarctica. The terrorists may have been trying to confuse us with the multiple maps implanted in the hurricane's cloud patterns, but one other image gave them away. At one point for more than twenty seconds, Hurricane Katrina took the distinct shape of Saddam Hussein's head. The other countries seen in the attack clouds are being questioned as to their involvement. Officials are still trying to determine which country has the most oil and therefore which one we should retaliate against first. Antarctica could not be reached for questioning.
Experts also believe that the name Katrina is another attempted knock against freedom. Benjamin Franklin, one of the fathers of America, had fathered a little girl that none but the most thorough historians know of. This daughter, Katrina, reportedly was so horrid in appearance that Franklin disowned her. Years later, out of hatred for her country and her freedom, she attempted to assassinate George Washington, the country's first president. The two apparently had a brutal fistfight during which all of Washington's teeth were destroyed. Washington eventually impaled Katrina on the pole that the very first American flag was mounted, killing her. The terrorists found out this fact and with help from meteorological spies implanted in our own weather network, had the disguised WMD named Katrina, after this little-known rebel and forever-hated enemy of America.
The terrorists have almost completely destroyed one of America's most precious cities. They have cause the price of oil to rise dramatically. They even made President Bush end one of his rare and well-earned vacations two whole days early so he could deal with this attack. Will they take our freedom from us? Will they bring the greatest country in the world to its knees? Will the terrorists win? Only you can decide that, America. Is four dollars a gallon too high a price to pay for freedom?
posted by Aspiring Atman at 17:28
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